Where there is a Will

I was wandering through the super-market today (don’t click away–this gets interesting), looking for a food-stuff that I haven’t tried before, which I often do to keep myself amused. A tub of what looked like mixed spices caught my eye. I thought it might add a little zing to my curry, so I picked it up. It was something called Pan Masala, which wasn’t curry spices at all, as it contained 48% betal nut. This surprised me because I had read a Wikipedia article about it a few weeks before, and I knew that betal nut is a mildly euphoric stimulant, popular in India and parts of Asia. Which is not the type of thing I would expect to find in my local Tescos!

Naturally, I bought it. I’m not the type of person to do drugs, but sampling an exotic pleasure from the far-east sounded like the most exciting thing that would happen to me that day. Back from lunch, I sat down at my desk and opened the Pan Masala. It smelled fantastic, which was encouraging. I took a mouthful and chewed–it tasted very sweet and the flavour was pleasant enough, but after a little chewing it became slightly bitter. The texture was dry and gritty, but didn’t put me off and I was happy to chew it while I worked. I chewed the first few mouthfuls until the pieces of spice had disintegrated to a point where I could swallow, but that involved a jaw-aching amount of chewing, so I decided to spit the stuff out when it had lost its flavour (like gum).

After a while it did give me a little buzz, kind of like an espresso on an empty stomach. It also numbed my mouth and tongue, (which lasted for a few hours). I stopped chewing after I felt the effects–mainly because the ever-growing mug of pink frothy saliva put me off further consumption.

Obviously, I’m not anti-drugs–drug laws are completely arbitrary, and ineffective–but I still don’t think it is a good idea for a carcinogenic stimulant (it can cause oral cancer), to be sold without adequate warning on the packaging. Although the label did say “Warning product contains betalnuts, chew with care”. I called Tescos and talked to a man who seemed a little amused at the whole thing (he asked if I wanted to buy it in bulk), but he did make some enquiries and call me back. Apparently the manufacturer was dismissive, but didn’t sound particularily trustworthy. He said somebody will investigate, and get back to me. It will be interesting to hear their response!

I think I’ll keep the betal nut for novelty value, but I wont be chewing any more of it. It would probably lead me to try harder drugs … like nutmeg or oregano.

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 23rd, 2007 at 7:43 pm and is filed under Personal, Photos, humour. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.