https://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/personal/Will McGugan's Blogwillmcgugan.techblog 0.1.5Humour posts in Personalhttps://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/personal/post/i-am-a-billionaire/https://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/personal/post/i-am-a-billionaire/ <div> <div> <a href="/media/uploads/images/fiftybillion.jpg"> <img src="/media/uploads/images/thumbs/fiftybillion_150x112.jpg" title="$50 billion note"> </a> <div> <p>This is what $50 billion looks like.</p> </div> </div> </div> <p>My little sister has returned from her travels in darkest Africa and has brought back great treasures indeed. Behold, the $50,000,000,000 note! And I didn't even need to help a Nigerian widow transfer the money out of the country.</p> <p>I know what you are thinking – it's great to be wealthy, but what about all the begging letters? Well, I guess I can stop sending them now.</p> Tue, 10 Mar 2009 22:40:42 -0000I am a Billionaire!https://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/tech/post/live-your-life-by-the-tao-of-python/https://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/tech/post/live-your-life-by-the-tao-of-python/ <p>As a Godless heathen, I have no scripture from which to guide me in my day-to-day life, and I must look for meaning elsewhere. I believe I have found that meaning in the most unlikely of places; the Python shell. If you enter <code>import this</code> in to the Python interpreter, it will reveal to you an ancient wisdom in the guise of a collection guidelines for the Python language.</p> <div><pre>&gt;&gt;&gt; import this The Zen of Python, by Tim Peters Beautiful is better than ugly. Explicit is better than implicit. Simple is better than complex. Complex is better than complicated. Flat is better than nested. Sparse is better than dense. Readability counts. Special cases aren't special enough to break the rules. Although practicality beats purity. Errors should never pass silently. Unless explicitly silenced. In the face of ambiguity, refuse the temptation to guess. There should be one-- and preferably only one --obvious way to do it. Although that way may not be obvious at first unless you're Dutch. Now is better than never. Although never is often better than *right* now. If the implementation is hard to explain, it's a bad idea. If the implementation is easy to explain, it may be a good idea. Namespaces are one honking great idea -- let's do more of those! </pre></div> <p>I have studied these words for many years and have come to believe that they are in fact guidelines for living a fulfilling and successful life.</p> <h3>Beautiful is better than ugly.</h3> <p>As the first line in the Tao, this line must surely possess some special significance. The obvious interpretation would be to seek out that which is <em>beautiful</em> and reject that is <em>ugly</em> – but as anyone with experience of life knows, <em>beauty</em> does not always bring <em>happiness</em>. A deeper meaning must be sought.</p> <p>I suspect that <em>Beautiful</em> is actually a mis-translation of <em>Elegance</em>, and <em>ugly</em> refers to the literal opposite of elegance. Elegance of course, can refer to many things that are harmonious together. Given these corrections, the meaning is clear; do not seek out the most beautiful woman, or the most beautiful car – they will not bring happiness. Seek out a woman and a car that possess elegance (not just beauty). The Tao brings us wise words indeed.</p> <h3>Explicit is better than implicit.</h3> <p>The Tao teaches us that it is better to be explicit in all things. A truism that can be found in religion: <em>“Don’t hide your light under a bushel”</em>, and conventional wisdom: <em>“Don't ask, Don't get”</em>. Although the Tao is true to its own words, and need not talk in allegories of bushels and lights. Explicit means being direct and not hiding ones intentions. If you want to leave with the most elegant woman, <em>be direct.</em></p> <h3>Simple is better than complex.</h3> <p>In a world that seems to get more complex every year, the Tao tells us to prefer simplicity. Hows can this be so? Think back to when you were most happy and you will likely recall the time when things were most <em>simple</em>; most likely your childhood. Truly, <em>simple</em> brings happiness. Trust the Tao.</p> <h3>Complex is better than complicated.</h3> <p>The Tao recognizes that the cosmos is an imperfect place, and even though one may favor <em>simplicity</em>, <em>complexity</em> may still arise. The Tao also suggests that although <em>complexity</em> may be unavoidable, we often bring <em>complicated</em> upon ourselves. To elucidate; a girlfriend may be <em>complex</em>, but <em>two</em> girlfriends are <em>complicated</em>.</p> <h3>Flat is better than nested.</h3> <p>In life, there are many goals and tasks required to accomplish those goals. If we <em>nest</em> out task, that is start another task before fully accomplishing what we have started, then we will struggle to accomplish anything. The Tao tells us that it is better to be <em>flat</em>, and to fully achieve each goal before moving on to the next.</p> <h3>Achieving Enlightenment</h3> <p>Unfortunately, I can't divulge the rest of the secrets in the Tao, as to truly understand Tao, one must study it. I myself have yet to decipher it's full meaning, and some of it seems puzzling even to me; the Tao appears to indicate that only the Dutch can achieve true enlightenment.</p> <p>Best of luck on your own quest for enlightenment, and remember: blessed are the <em>geek</em>, for they shall inherit the Earth.</p> Sat, 07 Mar 2009 16:35:47 -0000Live your life by the Tao of Pythonhttps://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/personal/post/what-we-have-here-is-a-failure-to-communicate/https://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/personal/post/what-we-have-here-is-a-failure-to-communicate/ <p>It's not easy being a Scotsman in England. Some of the locals have difficulty understanding my accent. I'm living in Oxford now, but it was the same in London. Recently, I had trouble ordering a coffee...</p> <p>Me: Hi. I would like a tall white Americano to take away please.</p> <p>Coffee guy: (shouts) Tall black Americano to go.</p> <p>Me: Sorry, <em>white</em>.</p> <p>Coffee guy: (shouts) <em>Two</em> Americanos to go.</p> <p>Me: No, no. A <em>white</em> Americano.</p> <p>Coffee guy: Both white, or just one?</p> <p>*sigh*</p> Sun, 15 Feb 2009 15:52:31 -0000What we have here, is a failure to communicate!https://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/personal/post/you-heard-it-here-first/https://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/personal/post/you-heard-it-here-first/ <p>They say that in every day, you will use at least one sentence that has never been uttered before. I think this may be true of the Internet as well. According to google, the phrase '<a href="http://www.willmcgugan.com/2007/09/25/telepods-of-doom/">telepods of doom</a>' was used on the Internet for the very first time by me! Now if only I could somehow get it in to common usage and be immortalized... Telepods of doom you later!</p> Sat, 20 Oct 2007 16:23:15 -0000You heard it here first!https://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/tech/post/analysis-paralysis/https://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/tech/post/analysis-paralysis/ <p>I pride myself in my ability to make decisions. If I have all the variables and criteria then I can typically select the best course of action, or at least a <em>good </em>choice of action. As an engineer, this is invaluable because most problems in software development are of this type; you have all the facts and a desired outcome. If you meet the desired outcome, then you can safely say that you made the right decision. If not you can go back and try again.</p> <p>If only all decisions where as clear as the kind you have to make in programming! In the real world - which I'm forced to occasionally visit - most decisions I have to make definitely aren't like this. Generally I don't have all the facts, the criteria aren't clear and the outcome is a scalar, rather than a simple Boolean. And when faced with a problem that is too <em>fuzzy</em>, I tend to not make any decision at all, rather than risk making a bad one.</p> <p>Purchasing a mobile phone is a case in point. I've been using a pay-as-you-go phone, which was a good deal originally but had become expensive because I use it a lot more now. I've known this for months but every time I considered which combination of phone and plan to go for I ended up deferring the decision for while because there were so many variables (vendor, phone price, monthly fee, contract length, add-ons, phone features etc). Annoyingly, of all the choices I could have made, deferring the decision to later was the worst, because it cost me money.</p> <p>You may consider this to be a personality flaw that <em>I</em> should work on, but I say it is the <em>universe </em>that is at fault. What I need is a formal way of patching this flaw, or at least working around it. A piece of software could be written that allows the user to enter a number of possible choices and criteria. For the phone example the choices would be the various plans on offer and the criteria would in the form of graphs with a variable on the x-axis and a <em>desirability</em> <em>rating </em>on the y-axis. Each criteria could also be weighted for importance in the final decision, and given a <em>confidence scale </em>that reflects how sure you are of that criteria. The output of this program would be the list of choices, sorted by rank, with corresponding confidence ratings. The best choice would be the first in the list, but by setting the cut-off point for confidence it would include the possibility of inaction as the best choice.</p> <p>I figure this software could be used to handle pretty much any major life decision, such as "which girlfriend should I marry?", "can my spouse have my kidney?" or "who should we eat first"? It could also replace many of today's world-leaders, who seem to make fairly arbitrary decisions anyway. I'm tempted to implement it in the form of a Python script, and perhaps put a nice graphical interface on it. I kind of like the idea of governments being replaced by Python code. I for one welcome... you know the rest.</p> <p>Excuse me, its lunch time. Now do I want pickles, olives or sauerkraut on my sandwich?</p> Wed, 18 Jul 2007 11:15:13 -0000Analysis paralysishttps://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/tech/post/happy-new-year/https://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/tech/post/happy-new-year/ <p>What do you mean its not the new year? Yesterday was 32 AW, today is 33 AW. That's <em>After Will</em>. Which also makes it my birthday.</p> <p>Last year was pretty good, career-wise and on a personal level. I use the term 'career' rather loosely because it implies some kind of direction. I don't learn skills because they are commercial - it's just blind luck that I manage to make a living out of them. And it seems like the skills I do learn can be a little niche, but that can often work to my advantage. For instance, my first 2 jobs involved writing software polygon rasterizers for games, at a time when 3D graphics cards were becoming popular. Even Python is a little niche, it certainly was when I started using it. But I'm now working full time with Python, and writing a book about it. I'm confident that it is a skill-set that is on the rise, and wont go the way of software polygon rasterizers!</p> <p>On a personal level, last year was pretty good. I met my girlfriend last year, and I'm planning to move to London with her. Which may be quite a culture shock for someone raised in a small town in North East Scotland! I suspect it will be kind of like Crocodile Dundee, only without the boomerang.</p> <p>Sorry for the self-indulgent post. I don't do it very often. All the best for 33 AW.</p> Thu, 05 Jul 2007 09:17:39 -0000Happy New Year!https://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/personal/post/loltriops/https://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/personal/post/loltriops/ <p>Normally I detest Internet phenomenas - I still don't know what that 'all your bases' nonsense was about. So I apologise in advanced for having stooped so low as to contribute to the current internet fad. For your viewing pleasure, here are the first two 'loltriops'.</p> <strong>Update:</strong> I guess that should be <em>loltriopz</em>. <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/billowycoat/570583961/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1409/570583961_7243a452a4_m.jpg"></a> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/billowycoat/570158696/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1014/570158696_186962bccc_m.jpg"></a> Tue, 19 Jun 2007 17:17:38 -0000loltriopshttps://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/personal/post/numbers-dont-lie/https://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/personal/post/numbers-dont-lie/ <p>My <a href="http://www.willmcgugan.com/2007/05/16/raising-little-monsters/">triops</a> hatched today. I am now the proud father of four tiny crustaceans, and there are more on the way. They are barely visible - just little white specs, but I can make out a pair of swimmerets.</p> <p>Apparently they double in size every day. They are about a millimeter in length at the moment, so by this time tomorrow they will be 2 millimeters long. They live about 60 days, so eventualy they will be 2 to the power of 60 millitmeters in length. Let's see... thats 1,152,921,504,606,846,976 millimeters, 1,152,921,504,606,846 meters or 1,152,921,504,606 kilometers (*). Oh. My. God. We're gonna need a bigger boat.</p> <p>* For Americans, that's 716,392,209,599 miles</p> Thu, 17 May 2007 17:58:41 -0000Numbers don't liehttps://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/tech/post/snakes-why-did-it-have-to-be-snakes/https://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/tech/post/snakes-why-did-it-have-to-be-snakes/ <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/billowycoat/481359509/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/182/481359509_983c7bf299_t.jpg"></a>I recently bought a book on <a href="http://www.python.org">Python</a>. Which is not something unusual since I have a steadly growing collection of Python books. But before I could pay for it, Amazon kindly suggested some other items I might like. One of which was a 'Giant Soft Touch Python'. At this point my inner-child realised the outer-man had a credit card, and instructed me to click on the Python toy - then suppress all knowledge of it. That is until it arrived this morning. I am now the proud owner of a giant soft touch Python. <p>If anyone wants the aforementioned rubber serpent, then let me know. I want to get rid of it before it starts leaving little rubber droppings behind the television. I'll even post it to you for free (UK only). On the condition that you have kids and you're not just a geek with an inner-child.</p> <p>Now if you will excuse me, I have to get back to day-job, which is something that we adults have to do.</p> Wed, 02 May 2007 14:31:03 -0000Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?https://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/personal/post/buttocks-in-church/https://www.willmcgugan.com/blog/personal/post/buttocks-in-church/ <p> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/billowycoat/454275708/" title="Cathedral Nudes Row"><img src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/236/454275708_f61cd79e4e_t.jpg"></a> It must have been a slow news day in Chester yesterday. Front page on the Chester Chronicle is an article about a painting of Adam and Even hanging in the Cathedral. Apparently some locals were grossly offended at the sight of Eve's buttocks and breast. I'm tempted to get all militant atheist here, but I know its just a handful of stuffy prudes. Personally I think Eve looks quite good, and no cellulite in sight! Judge for yourself... </p> Tue, 10 Apr 2007 18:47:26 -0000Buttocks in Church!